This is the time of year I catch myself saying this more often.

I live in Nova Scotia and we have had a great winter this year, snow didn’t fly until February. January was great with lots of cold sun, half of February the same. Now we are headed into March and cool sun is present. There are many days that I sit at my desk with lots I can do and wonder what’s next, what is it I am supposed to be doing.

I have a list of things for work that I could be doing but this question comes from a different place for me. What’s next for me, what is it I am supposed to be doing for the next chapter in my life: Should I sell everything and do my version of Eat, Pray, Love? Should I get involved with a spiritual group of some sort? Should I start a new craft or sport? The questions don’t get answered…I have nudges that I am looking for something different, I could do this or do that but no answer that this is exactly what I should do, something that feels great.

Part of this I have also noticed is that I lacked enthusiasm and felt resistance to jump into anything let alone something new but had so many thoughts of possibilities rolling around in my head, then I thought maybe I am just tired, maybe that is the problem.

Since this has been going on for a little bit, it was time for me to figure it out! After all, I have been helping others figure this out for themselves for 17 years now. I have the programs and knowledge needed to figure this out. I had to get myself back on track, I needed to feel my passion again for everything that I do. For me, I need to feel passion and excitement for what I am doing in order to do it really well, we all do. If I don’t feel that, then what I need to get done gets done but not as well as if I am passionately excited about it.

I had to step back and ask myself what is really going on, where did my desire go? It ended up that I did not feel balanced, I was procrastinating certain things, and I was unsettled especially with this feeling that there was more for me. Of course, I had lost my passion and excitement for what I was doing daily because I was telling my self that what I was doing was no longer it for me. I was telling myself that my passion was outside of what I was doing. I put myself in this state with all these thoughts rattling around in my brain.

I believe that we all can find passion for everything that we do once you let go of the stories and old beliefs that you tell yourself that you are not passionate about what you are doing today, that this is not worthy of your time or your passion or that this is not something I can be passionate about. Our thoughts are our power house in one direction or the other.

“How you do what you do is more important than what you do. The ‘how’ refers to the underlying state of consciousness.” Eckhart Tolle

My uncontrolled thoughts were taking me all over the place but not where they needed to be for me to be excited or passionate about anything. Our passions comes from inside and that is where I needed to go to find it again, to let the passionate force be me. All of the searching would not have made a difference until I did this part, I would of kept searching because nothing would of satisfied me even doing my own version of Eat, Pray, Love would not of worked until I went inside. Passion starts inside, it has to be this way!

It is a very common practice that many of us look for external gratification, we forget that when we look inside and unleash our passion, when we stop looking for external happiness, miracles happen and what shows up maybe something that you never would of thought of or imagined.

So, what I want to let you know is that I am here for you if you find you are having those thoughts or that you have misplaced your passion and excitement. I understand what you are experiencing and what you are going through. You are not alone.

Let’s talk about it…
Let me help you…
Let me help you stay on track and find your passion and excitement for where you are so we can discover what’s next for you.
Let’s chat about it.
No obligation, just real talk.

Email me Susan@susandelanoswim.com, I am here for you.
Wishing you passion and excitement everyday,

Susan

As humans we are naturally social and crave friendships.  There is nothing better than having others to share your life and experiences with.   Life is more enjoyable when we share it with others and focus on what makes us happy.  Great relationships should only bring out the best in each other!

Some people are difficult to have a relationship with. Sometimes you may tolerate a relationship that makes you feel bad or brings out anger and frustration in you. If this is the case, it may be time to assess whether or not to keep that person in your life.  Sometimes that person is a family member and not that easy to walk away from.  

What you can do is be responsible for the part that you play in the relationship and possibly spend less time with them.  I personally have had a tough relationship experience in my family and although it never made sense and I never understood it, in the end it ended up that the relationship ended.  We can do everything possible from our end to try to improve or ignore the hurt feelings caused by them but in the end, the people that are continually judging you make it too hard to be around them and there is nothing you can do to change it, so you have to make a choice!

You may have friends or you may fall into the negative habit of constantly talking about problems.  Maybe you or your friends play the victim card in life and everyone around you gets to hear all about it on a regular basis and then you wonder why people avoid you or them.  Maybe you or your friends only call because someone needs just one more favor. Are you tired of this type of relationship, you avoid the calls but it just doesn’t stop, what can you do especially when it is family?

Lets face it, friendships can be trying but they can also be fantastic.  If you have friends or family that fall into the, oh no its them calling or texting category, and you want them in your life, have a conversation with them and tell them what is really important for you about the friendship and see if you can redesign it.  

Share this article or let them see and feel the change in you.  You can’t change anyone that doesn’t want to be changed so all you can do is present the information to them and be responsible for your own actions.

If you are looking for ways to have stronger, better relationships there are steps you can take that can help you build happier more joyful experiences in both your personal and professional life.

10 steps you can implement immediately:

1. Focus on what makes you happy! Chances are if what you are talking about makes you happy and brings you joy it will make your friends and family happy as well.  When you focus on problems or negativity it is unsettling and nobody wants to hear it.
2.  Share more of you! Participate in the relationship, it has to be a 2 way relationship to make it a solid one.  Share what you know, your expertise, your time and make sure you give the space to learn about the other person.
3.  Learn and Listen! Asking lots of questions shows you are interested in them, you learn valuable information about your friends that will help grow the friendship.  Listening has become something that many multi task through.  How many conversations have you had with someone when they are looking at their computer or their phone instead of you? They only get a portion of what you said, they appear to be totally uninterested in what you are saying and if you question them they tell you they heard everything.  If you want to develop strong relationships show you are interested and respect the relationship by making eye contact and listening attentively.
4.  Support your friends! Everybody needs support from time to time, be there when times are tough and times are good.  Be there to listen, to support and to inspire.
5.  Show Appreciation! Show your appreciation for your relationships, speak kindly and let them know what you appreciate about them and how they are important to you.  It is rare today to be told you are a great person and that you are a cherished friend.  Let them know!
6.  Be Positive! Be mindful of the role you play.  Be positive, be inspiring and be the best version of yourself so that you feel awesome, it might rub off.
7.  Manage Boundaries! All relationships have boundaries and you know what they are.  If you truly value the relationship don’t push the boundaries.  If you do, be prepared for the down side of doing that. It will probably change the dynamics and you may later regret it.
8.  Avoid Gossiping! Nothing good comes from gossiping about other people.  I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all.”  This is so true, gossiping is telling stories about other people over and over again.  We usually do this because we find it entertaining at the cost of someone else.  In the end it looks bad on you not on the person that you are talking about.  Talk about something that is positive and uplifting and you will be remembered as an inspiring person that your friends will want more of.
9.   Cheer them on / Inspire Them! There is nothing better than having a friend or work colleague cheering you on when you are doing something great or when you have a momentary hesitation.  We all need to be cheered on so be the one to cheer others on, to believe in them and their mission/vision.
10.    Be Yourself, show your gifts, be happy and bring joy everyday!

It is important to Love YOUR Life to be happy — if you don’t love your life, do something about it!

Susan Delano Swim is a Certified High Performance Coach, her goal is to help you reach heightened levels of clarity, energy, courage, productivity and influence on your march to a successful, healthy and fully charged life. For a complimentary one hour coaching session fill in the application here: http://www.susandelanoswim.com/application/

This article originally appeared: http://halifaxcitizen.ca/2015/10/26/how-great-are-your-relationships/

Does your time matter? Do you respect your own time and live life to its fullest or do you always count on tomorrow to get stuff done?

Procrastination steals your time away from you. Minutes, hours, days, weeks, even months can slip away and the same things keep showing up that need to be done. Procrastination makes you feel bad, you create negative stories up about what it is that you have to do and all of a sudden the task is consuming you, it has become a heavy weight on your shoulders that you dread. Procrastination affects your happiness and can affect your bottom line, so why do so many do it?

A procrastination habit will rob you of life’s enjoyment. A lot of the time, many of us don’t consider our time to be of any importance when they are procrastinating, after all we will always have tomorrow to do what we need to do.

There are a few things that happen when you continually procrastinate: You feel negativity about yourself; You start to justify not doing it in ways that are probably untrue; It can affect your work, which could in turn affect your financial bottom line or your job; It will affect your relationships; It will affect your health.

Are you procrastinating starting a healthier way of living or do you actually feel the physical stress of procrastination?

–The task never gets done so you don’t move forward to the next great thing in your life;

–You continually silently feel bad and may even feel like a failure.

What has procrastination and feeling overwhelmed cost you so far? It can be a big deal if you don’t learn how to manage it.

If you have had enough and today is the day, there are steps you can take to managing your procrastination. Like everything you do when you are breaking a habit, you have to make time to practice these steps every day to keep your desire for change to keep you on track.

Procrastinating Busting Steps

1. First step is your awareness. You must be aware of your procrastination habits. Do you have projects that continually flow over to the next day? Are you feeling overwhelmed or bad? Be aware of your feelings around procrastination so you can recognize when you are doing this habit.

2. Your daily schedule. I am big on writing a daily priority list. A lot of the time, we feel overwhelmed because we have a lot to do and we try to keep it all straight in our heads.

Depending on your lifestyle, some structure can be very satisfying. Write down what is important for you to do in the different areas of your life. Count work, count home stuff, count your social life.

Three is a very manageable number for me. Everyday, I put three priorities in each area of life on my list to get done that day. Schedule your priorities, including what time you will do them and how long you suspect they will take to complete. It is really important to be realistic about this so that you are setting yourself up for success and not failure. The idea is to start to feel in control and successful getting stuff done.

3. Mind management. Now that you know what you are doing for the day, you will have to manage your thoughts. Negative, procrastinating thoughts are the habit you are kicking. You know what you need to do, you have your priorities for the day. Now, it’s up to you and your thoughts to make it happen.

Having negative thoughts or happy thoughts are a choice. It can be as simple as turning the light switch on to see the light and stop procrastinating by setting yourself and your thoughts up to be what you want or turning the light off to allowing your bad habits to take over and then you feel bad. Don’t make this a bigger deal by saying it is too hard. It is hard to get rid of your bad habits, but it really is as simple as making the decision and managing your thoughts so you can stay on track. Say something as simple as “I can do this! I got this!”

4. Your physical space, your environment. If you work in an office, a studio, at home or in your car, make it support your emotional well-being. Your space must be supportive so that you feel empowered to do what you need to do. Stuff in your space, piles, clutter, coffee cups and garbage you will take your thoughts away from what you have to do; this stuff will rob your concentration. Take the time to create the best creative empowering work space for you to be a high performer. It may not take that much time and the reward for doing this will be your productivity.

5. Daily reflection. It is really important to reflect on your successes every day. Most people don’t do this, so you don’t understand how valuable this is. Take five to 10 minutes at the end of every day to reflect on how great your day was and what you are grateful for. If for some reason one of your items didn’t get done today, reflect on your priorities, this is where you learn did you schedule stuff too tight, did you get derailed by other business, did you stop following your agenda and allow other stuff in. The only purpose here is to learn and grow, there is no beating yourself up, that doesn’t work, it just makes you feel bad. Learn what works for you and what doesn’t, and every morning write your priority list understanding what will bring the best of you to the world.

These are the beginning baby steps to busting procrastination. Follow these steps to feel more joy and fun in your life, after all that is what we are here for.

This article was originally published here:

http://thechronicleherald.ca/more/wellness/1309018-does-your-time-matter-the-ughhh-of-procrastination

Create Positive Practices for Yourself and Your Family

Creating a positive culture is imperative for the health and well-being of your family and for yourself. This involves engaging in specific and deliberate practices that leads us to an active state where our minds are in connection to our bodies and we become aware and open to the present; this is known as mindfulness. Cultivating mindfulness is the key to overcoming suffering and discovering natural wisdom.

freedigitalphotos.net

Mindful Practices:

1. Mindfulness of Your Breathing

With the busy and stressful nature of our lifestyles, learning to slow down and taking a breather is critical to good health. This basic mindfulness exercise will help you learn how to relax and be more aware of the present. Just breathe in slowly and deeply, push your belly forward, hold for 2 counts and then release with ease by pulling your belly back to your spine. Doing this simple exercise will slow down your heart rate and relax your muscles.

2. Mindfulness of Thoughts

Our thoughts control our lives and we have the choice to use them wisely or against us. Thoughts have the power to affect our emotions, which as a result impart our behaviours. Teach your family the importance of positive thoughts and their role in creating your own happiness and satisfaction.

3. Mindfulness of Emotions

Practicing mindfulness of emotions is beneficial in dealing with intense and unpleasant emotions. Meditation is a powerful means to centre on our emotions and to learn how to control them.

4. Mindfulness in Eating

This is an exercise that makes us aware of the food we eat and its impact to our bodies and our health. It helps us deal with food cravings, addictive eating, binge eating and emotional eating.

Incorporating mindfulness in everyday activities enables us to handle the challenges we face and to enjoy and cherish every minute of our lives. The Balanced Life Formula has been designed to help you add mindfulness into your life. To get your membership click here!

To your success,

Susan

Importance of creating a ‘me’ space

With heaps of responsibilities and careers to keep running, ‘me’ space almost seems like an illusion to most of us and to some, an overdue aspiration. We get entangled in the motions of life, juggling endless to-do lists, trying to keep everything and everyone around us together and sadly end up forgetting our very selves. The result is dire; chronic stress. Neglecting yourself will take a heavy toll on your emotional and mental health and eventually impart on your physical status as well.

Why you need to create some ‘me space’

1. Un-winding

Finally when you get some ‘me space’ you can put your guard down and let loose. It can be surprisingly therapeutic not to have anybody around to talk to or to impress.

2. Inner Renewal

Our daily hassles are consistently depleting our energy. Spending some time alone will allow you to ‘recharge your batteries’ and give you the room to find some inspiration and strength to go on.

3. Self-realization

‘Me space’ will give you the opportunity to find out what your needs are. Uninterrupted personal time will help you have some self-reflection to understand where you are in your life journey and the goals you have for the future. You can freely be able to make objectives decisions about your life without external input.

4. Self-improvement

It’s quite obvious that you can’t be able to cater for your loved ones effectively when stressed and irritable. When you are re-energized and in high spirits then you can spread that good cheer to everyone around you, but if you’re struggling and always exhausted then your world will look just the same.

How to find some ‘me’ space time

Schedule it, just like any other aspect of your life, give it the priority it deserves and do not compromise it.

What to do in your ‘me space’

Your solo time should be totally unrestricted. Do anything that makes you feel relaxed and offloaded. Write, read a book, listen to some music, knit, paint, go to the spa, reflect, dream, anything that you love to do. Enjoy your rightful self-moments!

To gain strategies on living a balanced life with practices you can do daily in your ‘me’ space click here to learn about The Balanced Life Formula.

Susan

Fifteen years ago, Susan Delano Swim wasn’t feeling inspired about her life. The Bedford mother of four had worked various jobs, but was struggling to find a career she really enjoyed.

“I knew I liked helping people and thought about going back to school to become a psychologist, but that wasn’t an avenue I could take while raising four children,” says Swim. “I started looking into the coaching industry, and it just seemed like a natural fit for me — although at the time, nobody knew what a life coach was. It was very new.”

Swim traveled to Toronto and California to be trained and certified as a Balanced Life Strategist. She also went on to complete an advanced relationship-building program, because she enjoyed working with clients to help them improve their work and family relationships. Her business — Zelatious Lifestyle Strategies — was born.

Today, Swim has clients from across Canada and the U.S., and does most of her coaching over the phone. She typically meets local clients in person at their home for a couple of hours to get to know them and to understand the changes that they are looking for so they can have the best outcome possible. Once this is completed, they connect over the phone — up to an hour a week for eight weeks, or half an hour a week for 16 weeks.

Swim says her clients are often surprised by how much ground can be covered in just a half-hour session, and she also provides them with “homework” to be completed between sessions.

“A large part of their learning is starting to observe their own lives and see how they’re helping themselves or hurting — sabotaging themselves,” says Swim. “Once you have the tools to learn how to observe who and how you are in your own life — which is a new practice — you can understand it on a different level.”

People have come to Swim because of a relationship in trouble, a career transition, or because their children have grown up and moved out.

“I work with a lot of women who feel completely lost once they become an empty-nester,” says Swim. “They feel like there’s nothing out there for them, and they don’t know where to turn.”

Swim believes everyone has the answer within themselves, but they often don’t see it because of “all of the garbage on top.” She says we can be so programmed to what we think we want — or what we should want — that we ignore our deep intuition, and ignore the signals our body sends us. This causes a heaviness and stress inside your chest, and many of her clients have thanked her for helping them “to breathe again.”

“Most people today are living with huge amount of stress and anxiety, and they think it’s a part of life — to be in the trenches now, and have rainbows and happiness when they’re older,” says Swim. “That’s the reason why I developed a virtual program — so I can reach as many of them as possible, and let them know they can be happy right now.”

Halifax-based supervisor Barb (who did not want her last name used) turned to Swim’s coaching during a recent period of depression.

“My chest hurt all of the time and it was becoming more difficult to cope even with the little things in life,” recalls Barb. “I knew I needed some sort of help, but didn’t know where to turn.”

A friend referred Barb to Swim, and she went on to successfully complete 16 weeks of coaching sessions. The sessions helped her to understand her feelings, determine what she needed to do, and make a plan to move forward.

“I am not only coping with life now, I am looking forward to it,” says Barb. “I have new skills that can help me cope with anything that comes my way.”

Swim says once our personality adopts to having stress and anxiety in our lives all of the time, we convince ourselves that this is normal way of being and can remain stuck in that mode until we make the shift to get out of it.

“Life does not have to be as hard as we make it. Some stress comes and goes, but it’s how we react to stress that makes us anxious,” says Swim. “Life is meant to have meaning and passion and happiness. If you don’t have all of these things, you have to question what you’re doing.”

“Change your story, change your outcome, and live life fully!”

Original article appeared at:

http://thechronicleherald.ca/community/bedford-sackville/1221230-local-mom-discovers-passion-for-life-coaching

For over a year now, I have attempted meditating myself and have read several articles and have participated in several different group type settings.

As the teachers began to explain to us the basics of meditation and it’s role in self realization my misconceptions where cleared beyond all reasonable doubt.

I learned that meditation is not a quick fix to our problems (most often drastically blown beyond proportion by our negative thoughts and energies) but that t we develop a collective consciousness that not only helps us calm our mind so we can see ourselves, see our own problems and also see our inner light.

Many misconceptions of meditation include the fact that it is hard or that it takes a lot of time.  I feel what is important about meditation is that you let go of all you preconceived ideas that are stopping you from trying it, don’t make up any stories about it and learn the value of spending some time with your thoughts, with your silence so you can slow down enough so you can embrace your thoughts, and find some clarity.

What misconceptions of meditation  do you have? Perhaps if you share we can talk about it.

To learn more about The Balanced Life Formula where I share my personal guided meditation along with tools and tips to de-stress and find peace, click here!

To your success,

Susan Delano Swim

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”

Norman Vincent Peale

Some call it self-assurance; others call it boldness or self-confidence- at the end of the day it is a mental ornament that is much required to carry on with life successfully. There are many reasons one must be confident in themselves which include the fact that a lack of belief in one’s capabilities is a sure guaranty for utter failure. As the saying goes, “the most beautiful woman is the one who believes that is beautiful”.

How we think of ourselves can be quite easily perceived by others. If you do not respect and believe in yourself, how can you expect that of others? Imagine a musician performing on stage who hates the songs he plays and yawns at every possible break to show tiredness and boredom- off course his audience will also lose interest in the whole affair. So, if you want to be listened to and respected as well as love you must respect, listen to and love yourself first.

The secret to loving yourself lies in self-care. Every human being demands good exercise and food is paramount to looking and feeling good which consequently is a magnet for good company usually consisting of similar people.

Confident people aren’t resistant to negative self-talk, but they also acknowledge and value their strengths.

What can you do to build confidence in yourself? Learn to value your own opinion and recognize that it must not be validated to be proven correct. After all, many successes where introduced by rejection.

Finally, learn to identify your best qualities as a person and put yourself in the position to flaunt them to the benefit of others as well as yourself.

To your success,

Susan Delano Swim

How to relax and still get work done

Very few people can get much work done when they are stressed and worked up about any given situation. The non-rocket science trick in high paced and tense work environments is to ‘calm down’, which is very much easier said than done.

Telling someone to ‘calm down’ when they are angry or under pressure could be a trigger to feeling angrier or stressed out. The challenge therefore lies in knowing what to do when we are caught feeling in a similar mood.

The chances are if you can help yourself, you will be able to help others deal with these tough emotions.

There are a few tips to handling stress at work which include:

1. The Lava Lamp– Studies have shown that a lava lamp has a soothing influence. Plug one in at your office, and turn it on when you feel your heart beat rate skyrocketing.
2. Start a kudos file. Notes that praise your efforts in getting jobs well done, thank-you notes, and complimentary memos can lift your mood when your job causes tension and anxiety.
3. Play ‘footsie’– Hoard foot rollers on the floor (and out of sight so others don’t think you are creepy) by your desk, so that you can give your feet a relaxing massage while you work.
4. Stress balls and pads- Believe it or not, stress balls and pads are a great source of relief for tense moments. The ones with chimes are good for those who need auditory stimulation. And the ones with colours that alter or flicker are a great distraction as well.

The most important thing to remember in beating stress to helping you relax is ‘laughter’. Find ways to entertain yourself- it could be funny videos, comic strips, anything. Laugh away to a more relaxed existence.

To learn more about how you can create a balanced life click here to learn more about The Balanced Life Formula and the benefits it can bring you.

To your success,

Susan

Goal setting for a Guaranteed Success. 

Goal setting is a mental training practice that can be used to surge an individual’s commitment towards achieving a special goal. Having a short or long-term goal can inspire an individual to work harder, to be more focused on the task and to overcome obstacles more easily.

If you want to thrive, you need to set goals. Without goals you lack motivation and direction. Goal setting not only allows you to take complete ownership of your life’s direction; it also delivers you a yardstick for determining whether you are actually succeeding.

However, to achieve your goals, you need to know how to set them.

But ‘Goal Setting’ must be approached with the mindset that it is not as perfect as laid out to be by the millions of motivational speakers and writers over the years.

Goals must be set intentionally. If you choose too many goals because you’re in a whirlwind, sloppy mess on your couch and don’t know what you really want, you’ll set yourself up for misfortune.

The prevalent goals are sometimes the worst but if you are really badass you will reach every single one of them.

Great goals, the ones you’ve always fantasized about, need keenness, hard work, duty, blood, sweat, tears…. If you’re someone who reacts well to these necessities, you’ll arrive there someday.

To make the best decisions towards goal setting, you must identify the value from which your goods or services emanate. If in the past you have set goals and failed to meet them then the first step is to take full responsibility and set goals towards fixing what it is that needs fining.

To your success,

Susan Delano Swim

PS: Do you need tools to de-stress, create balance and find peace? Click here to learn more about The Balanced Life Formula.

Is Fear Such A Terrible Thing?

Many of us view fear as a terrible thing and rightfully so because it inhibits daily progress and causes doubt of self, others and present circumstances.

But if you take a second to think about it, you realize that every time you escaped trouble by a close shave, you are grateful that you ran or withdrew at the time and with the speed you did. Something told you to ‘run’ or ‘hide’ or ‘fight back’- all depending on the situation. That thing that made you act in your defence or run for safety is called ‘Fear’.

Fear is a ‘pointer’ `(an indicator). It guides messages to the brain that trigger decision-making, whether logical or not. It is a simple human function that we cannot live without. It safeguards us and is readily available at a moment’s notice.

There is far less bodily threat of death in our lives today than used to be the case.

Still, the coordination in our old brains still calls up the “flight or fight” response to things that have little relationship to “life or death.” A job crisis can paralyze someone even though there are more choices, avenues, and tools available today then ever before in history. Relationship confrontation becomes paralyzing, even when it’s survivable. Fear has become an enormous reaction to the hitches and selections in our lives. The fear center is all lit up and hell-bent on keeping us from risk!

Fear is such a powerful emotion that can be very easily used to your advantage.

The trick is to adjust your opinion of what may happen by assigning positives to even the worst outcome.

For example, Quitting your job to start a business and facing a financial struggle results in you finally being rid of a job you hated and gives you an intense motivation to succeed as a business owner.

Always learn to find the positive outcome or twist to a very bad situation and the fear will go away.

Have you been looking for a solution to help you find the positive outcome? The Balanced Life Formula may be the solution you’ve been waiting for. Learn more here!

To your confidence,

Susan Delano Swim

TURN YOUR EMBARRASSING FLAWS INTO YOUR BEST QUALITIES

An easy prescription for self love

The expression ‘self-love’ is tossed around quite carelessly today in daily conversation and is most often confused with narcissism but, to fully understand the concept of self-love you must first come to terms with what it is not.

Self love is not something you can buy in a beauty make over or a new designer collection wardrobe. Neither is it a quality one can easily derive from motivational quotes and inspirational garbage being tossed all over the internet these days. It is also certain that you cannot love others enough until you love yourself and are comfortable in your own company.

Self love is full appreciation of one’s self enough to enjoy being alone without need for company of others while having a healthy balance in social interaction where you do not completely cut yourself from friends and family.

Sadly, a lot of people do not feel good about who they are and often throw shade on their appearances and capabilities for reasons of physical flaws or/and social deficiencies.

This situation that many find themselves however is not hopeless and there are easy remedies to build your self esteem, embrace these flaws and deficiencies and begin to fully appreciate who you are and what you have to offer as an individual. Hence, here is your easy prescription for self love;

– Take care of yourself everyday for the rest of your life. Good food and daily exercise will boost your morale and keep you in the right frame of mind for whatever you have to face in your work and personal relationships.

– Protect yourself. Beware of fake friends (people who hang around you only for what they can get and turn away when the going gets tough). You must surround yourself with the right people who love and respect you for exactly who you are.

– Live with purpose and design. You will accept and love yourself more, whatever is happening in your life, when you live intentionally.

– Learn to forgive yourself. A lot of times we tend to be too hard on ourselves for mistakes we make in learning and growing. Do not forget that there is no such thing as a complete failure.

– Remain focused on what you need rather than what you want. You love yourself when you can turn away from something that feels good and exciting to what you need to stay strong, centered, and moving forward in your life, instead.

It is hoped that in not overdosing on this prescription or abandoning it along the line you find the self love that you need to live a winning life.

To your success,

Susan Delano Swim

DON’T JUST SET GOALS, ACHIEVE THEM!

There are people who want to achieve, who do not care about winning and those who eventually do end up successful.

If you are the type to set goals and do nothing about them then you have found the right blog to read. Setting goals are easy but when the challenges come pouring in are you strong enough to fight back to win?

Setting goals helps you opt for the exact direction you wish to take in life. By knowing exactly what you want to achieve, you know where you have to concentrate your efforts. You’ll also swiftly spot the distractions that can so easily lead you astray. Hence comes the need for strength to battle such distractions and move forward ever.

By setting intelligent, clearly defined goals, you can gauge and take pride in the achievement of those goals as you see forward progress in what might previously have seemed a long pointless grind. You will also raise your self-confidence

This is the most important reason why you must follow through with the goals you set until they come to life. The feeling of completion and accomplishment gained from this.

If you have set goals and are having a hard time following through with keeping them here is what you can do;

• Be precise: Set precise goals, putting in dates, times and amounts so that you can measure achievement. If you do this, you’ll know exactly when you have achieved the goal, and can take complete satisfaction from having achieved it.
• Establish your order of preferences: Learn to set the right priority.
• Always write your goals down
• Set realistic goals- Do not make blind wishes or false promises to yourself. While you dream, try to do so within the boundaries of your reasonably stretched capabilities.
• Finally, when you’ve achieved a goal, take the time to enjoy the satisfaction of having done so. Absorb the implications of the goal achievement, and observe the progress that you’ve made towards other goals.

To your success,

Susan Delano Swim

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Click play below to hear the interview:

Susan Delano Swim, the balance lifestyle expert, founded The Zelatious Living Programs after retiring from a successful sales and marketing career for some of the leading Fortune 100 companies.

After applying the strategies and principles she now teaches, Susan found the courage to leave the safety net of working in the corporate grind to step out into the realm of retail sales where she owned and operated a high-end children’s retail clothing store in Canada. Soon Susan found herself working her own grind as the “lone ranger”, running two successful family businesses, raising her four daughters, in addition to volunteering and running Dress For Success workshops across Canada. Susan started to see she was enslaving herself to a life of imbalance that ultimately took it’s toll on her own well being as well as that of her family’s.  Something had to change and she quickly learned it had to start with herself.

Susan quickly pivoted, extracting her strong interpersonal skills she had honed as a top sales and marketing director to launching a career in coaching and advising women as a Balanced Life Strategist. Susan teaches from first-hand knowledge.  She helps women to find their voice, rise up and avoid the pitfalls she has experienced herself all too well. She advises a broad list of clients both at home and internationally teaching real, practical applications so women can begin to think, speak and live more authentic, fulfilling and productive lives.

Because Susan is able to laugh and learn from her own self, she is able to guide women to take a heartfelt look at themselves in such a way that cultivates honest self awareness and positive long-lasting change.

Post originally appeared at http://claudiacooley.com/susan-delano-swim.html

“DON’T LET THE FEAR OF STRIKING OUT HOLD YOU BACK.” –BABE RUTH

There are so many great people who have accomplished more than they could have ever have imagined because they broke through their fear. Their fear of the unknown.

What will be my consequences? What if I fail? But what could be worse than never trying?That to me would be the biggest loss of all.

Can you imagine if Babe Ruth never stepped up to bat because he second guessed his ability? What if Oprah Winfrey withdrew from her offer to host a talk show? I know, these seem like far out examples but we’re all people. We’re all born into this world with fears, hopes and dreams. But some fears need to be shattered, just like Babe Ruth’s record.

That being said, some folks seem to have a slight upper hand, and others have their challenges.

They say what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

I believe in that, but it does seem like a certain few are like Eeyore with that dreaded cloud that shields them from the sun with its constant threat of rain. Others can step into a bucket of paint and come out like Picasso.

Some may be lucky, others destined, who knows. Bottom line is, we can break the spell, shatter that batting record and always remember that the sun will shine again.

Some of us just have to find ways to manage our thoughts differently. You can learn how to manage your thoughts so that you can embrace your fears so you too can be Picasso as well. There is nothing like having or feeling your heart pounding as you take a deep breath and start to walk towards your fears instead of running away from them.

I recently attended the Sassy Mastermind Retreat in Tucson, Arizona. We were challenged with our own goals, an “Intention to Ignite” for 2014. This goal was set at the end of a bed of glass. We learned to let go of the fear of walking through the glass to reach our goal, our intention to ignite. I stayed focused but felt very tense, after just the first step I realized this was in fact not scary at all. It was both challenging and exhilarating at the same time and I noticed my fears where gone. Suddenly those shards of glass went from the fear of pain to constant reminders and reaffirmation of my inner strength. The message was strong and clearer than ever before, we are capable of doing anything we set our mind to do.

What if you never step out of your comfort zone? You could be letting endless opportunities of walking on glass just pass you by and you’ll never get that exhilarating fear where you feel alive and proud of yourself. Don’t be afraid to live your life, don’t be afraid to ask for help, and above all, do not be afraid to fail – it means you are growing and living.
If you would like to talk to me about how I can help you walk over glass through your fears, please send me an email for a private session to find out how we can work together. Giving up on yourself should not be optional.

“You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.” – Glenda, The Good Witch, The Wizard of Oz

Are you living your life on purpose!

I am sure you have heard or read many times about having a life purpose.  Over the years of coaching many women, I realized that many or most of my clients came to me without a life purpose and for the most part don’t really know what that is or how to figure this out.  The main reason you want to know your life purpose is because when you do your life flows, you are excited, you feel good and you are inspired daily.

When you are living your life purpose you are taking action steps based on living your life on purpose following your dreams.    We can all do this no matter what our circumstances are.

When you are living and honouring your life’s purpose your natural special gifts and talents are your essence and you gain a sense of personal fulfillment and heartfelt joy knowing you are doing exactly what you are meant to do. No one else can do what you do the way that you do it, you are unique and special in every way.

One of the first steps to knowing your life purpose is to pay attention to your intuition, your knowing!  This is your inner voice that tells you when something is right and when something is wrong.  All to often we ignore this voice because our brain has taken over and we think that if we think harder or better our brain has the right answer for us.    As we do this over and over again, our heart becomes very sad and over time we selectively turn off our natural barometer.  At this point we are not living our life purpose we are only existing in our life.  Our heart, our intuition is never wrong, all we need to do is pay attention to the important nudges and know that our heart always has the best intentions for us.

One of quickest ways to honour or speak to your heart is to put your right hand on your heart and ask yourself what ever needs paying attention to.  With this connective energy  a warm sense of knowing what is right happens.

A quick example of this is: do I want desert tonight – our brains will convince us there is always tomorrow to start eating smartly so we eat the desert we really didn’t want but if you put your hand on your heart  ask the same question, the desert is no longer an issue.  Tell your brain to stop, breath and go with your heart.  Develop a new habit of paying attention to your knowing, your heart.  Our heart will never let us down or lead us in the wrong direction.

Start today paying attention to your intuition as one of the first and most important steps to reigniting more personal power!

Believe in the possibility of living life to reach your fullest potential, follow your heart and know that you are amazing and fabulous full of possibility.

Embrace your highest and best life!

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Susan Delano Swim

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Robert Allen, Global info-product icon and author of multiple New York Times Best-Selling books, announces he will write the forward for Susan Delano Swim’s new book.  This book is scheduled to be released 2013 and is a focused guide to empowering women to step into their WOW!