As humans we are naturally social and crave friendships. There is nothing better than having others to share your life and experiences with. Life is more enjoyable when we share it with others and focus on what makes us happy. Great relationships should only bring out the best in each other!
Some people are difficult to have a relationship with. Sometimes you may tolerate a relationship that makes you feel bad or brings out anger and frustration in you. If this is the case, it may be time to assess whether or not to keep that person in your life. Sometimes that person is a family member and not that easy to walk away from.
What you can do is be responsible for the part that you play in the relationship and possibly spend less time with them. I personally have had a tough relationship experience in my family and although it never made sense and I never understood it, in the end it ended up that the relationship ended. We can do everything possible from our end to try to improve or ignore the hurt feelings caused by them but in the end, the people that are continually judging you make it too hard to be around them and there is nothing you can do to change it, so you have to make a choice!
You may have friends or you may fall into the negative habit of constantly talking about problems. Maybe you or your friends play the victim card in life and everyone around you gets to hear all about it on a regular basis and then you wonder why people avoid you or them. Maybe you or your friends only call because someone needs just one more favor. Are you tired of this type of relationship, you avoid the calls but it just doesn’t stop, what can you do especially when it is family?
Lets face it, friendships can be trying but they can also be fantastic. If you have friends or family that fall into the, oh no its them calling or texting category, and you want them in your life, have a conversation with them and tell them what is really important for you about the friendship and see if you can redesign it.
Share this article or let them see and feel the change in you. You can’t change anyone that doesn’t want to be changed so all you can do is present the information to them and be responsible for your own actions.
If you are looking for ways to have stronger, better relationships there are steps you can take that can help you build happier more joyful experiences in both your personal and professional life.
10 steps you can implement immediately:
- Focus on what makes you happy! Chances are if what you are talking about makes you happy and brings you joy it will make your friends and family happy as well. When you focus on problems or negativity it is unsettling and nobody wants to hear it.
- Share more of you! Participate in the relationship, it has to be a 2 way relationship to make it a solid one. Share what you know, your expertise, your time and make sure you give the space to learn about the other person.
- Learn and Listen! Asking lots of questions shows you are interested in them, you learn valuable information about your friends that will help grow the friendship. Listening has become something that many multi task through. How many conversations have you had with someone when they are looking at their computer or their phone instead of you? They only get a portion of what you said, they appear to be totally uninterested in what you are saying and if you question them they tell you they heard everything. If you want to develop strong relationships show you are interested and respect the relationship by making eye contact and listening attentively.
- Support your friends! Everybody needs support from time to time, be there when times are tough and times are good. Be there to listen, to support and to inspire.
- Show Appreciation! Show your appreciation for your relationships, speak kindly and let them know what you appreciate about them and how they are important to you. It is rare today to be told you are a great person and that you are a cherished friend. Let them know!
- Be Positive! Be mindful of the role you play. Be positive, be inspiring and be the best version of yourself so that you feel awesome, it might rub off.
- Manage Boundaries! All relationships have boundaries and you know what they are. If you truly value the relationship don’t push the boundaries. If you do, be prepared for the down side of doing that. It will probably change the dynamics and you may later regret it.
- Avoid Gossiping! Nothing good comes from gossiping about other people. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all.” This is so true, gossiping is telling stories about other people over and over again. We usually do this because we find it entertaining at the cost of someone else. In the end it looks bad on you not on the person that you are talking about. Talk about something that is positive and uplifting and you will be remembered as an inspiring person that your friends will want more of.
- Cheer them on / Inspire Them! There is nothing better than having a friend or work colleague cheering you on when you are doing something great or when you have a momentary hesitation. We all need to be cheered on so be the one to cheer others on, to believe in them and their mission/vision.
- Be Yourself, show your gifts, be happy and bring joy everyday!
It is important to Love YOUR Life to be happy — if you don’t love your life, do something about it!
Susan Delano Swim is a Certified High Performance Coach, her goal is to help you reach heightened levels of clarity, energy, courage, productivity and influence on your march to a successful, healthy and fully charged life. For a complimentary one hour coaching session fill in the application here: http://www.susandelanoswim.com/application/
This article originally appeared: http://halifaxcitizen.ca/2015/10/26/how-great-are-your-relationships/