If You Can’t Say No, Re-negotiate!

If you have trouble saying no, learn to re-negotiate the deal to something that works better for you

In some occasions during our interpersonal interactions with others, we may feel obligated to agree to something that does not necessarily favor us. For some of us, saying “no” may seem crude, and we have a deep-seated inclination to be helpful and to make everybody happy, often times in our own expense.

Using strategic approaches, it may be possible to have what we wanted in the first place.


Here are a few steps to successful renegotiations:

  1. Identify what your needs

Find out what aspects of the situation that can work for you, and essentially the ones that are unfavorable, and what can be changed in your favor. Consider if your needs are as important or if they are rather dispensable.

  1. Think about the broader context

What are the layers or levels that lie underneath the commitment? Think about what is truly required of you from an objective perspective before agreeing to anything.

  1. Try and Understand Other’s Perspectives

It can be easier to renegotiate and find an amicable solution when you understand what is important to the other party -their goals, aspirations and worries – in relation to the situation so that you are able to connect with their intentions and respect them.

  1. Generate Options.

If you can’t say no, and if you don’t want to disappoint others, come up with a range of alternatives that will be mutually beneficial for both parties.

  1. Make a proposition

Express what you want to do, or what you need the other party to do in regard to the situation. Ask for what you would like from the situation boldly.

  1. Confirm conditions

Ensure that your role is defined to avoid any future hurdles

  1. Be content

Make peace with yourself after agreeing on a viable solution that works for both of you. Also appreciate yourself for coming up with a creative solution, and the other party for accommodating your needs.

Learning to renegotiate in order to feel more balance and peace, while also creating win-win situations is one way to create a more joy filled living experience. If you are interested in learning about The Balanced Life Formula, our virtual training sharing proven steps to de-stress, create balance and find peace click here!

To your success,